Hey FIFA!

I am neither a soccer fan nor a soccer aficionado. I have not played in an organized soccer league since elementary school. However, I have some ideas for FIFA. Stick with me. At times, it is hard to see the forest through the trees, so an outside perspective can shed some light on how things could be, rather than how they have always been. An example is beanballs in baseball. Sure, an eye for an eye is how things have been done in the past and is considered "old school," but it's also barbaric and dangerous. Throw inside to get people out. Don't throw up and in with fastballs. If you get hit ... take your base and take it like a man. If you think the pitcher is throwing at you on purpose, charge the mound. Go one-on-one, but only as a last resort.

Now, getting back to soccer:


1. Watching the Italy v. Germany game, I was not really rooting for one side or the other, I just wanted one side to score. Heck, if both teams scored, that would be fine too. I just did not want the game to be decided in penalty kicks after 120 minutes of scoreless "action." If a team wants to win a game, they should have to score a real goal, not win a PK shootout. You shouldn't be able to piss away two hours. You play to win the game ... that should involve trying to score while simultaneously trying to keep the other team from scoring. This would be similar to the rule that the 5th set of a tennis match (in majors) will not be decided by a tie break. If you are up 2 sets to 1 and the 4th set is tied 6-6, you have a chance to finish out the match with a tiebreak. But, if it's 2-2 (sets), 6-6 (games), you just have to keep playing. A doubles match at Wimbledon on Wednesday went all the way to 23-21 in the 5th set, a 5th set that lasted over 3 hours.


2. Stop the whining. The first rule change would allow delay of game warnings to be given to players who pick up the ball when possession belongs to the other team. If you want to grab the ball and toss it to the other team to get play going more quickly, fine. But, don't stall in order to try to prevent the other team from taking advantage of their free kick or throw-in. The first time you do something out-of-line, you'll get a warning. Subsequent schenanigans will result in yellow cards and/or red cards if you keep going. If you are looking for a similar thing in a mainstream American sport, think delay of game in basketball. If you grab the ball out of the net or step over the line when a team is trying to inbound the ball, you get a warning. The second time, you get a technical foul.


3. If you get fouled in the box, you take the penalty kick! Henry (France) got fouled (questionably) by a Portugal player today. The result was a penalty kick for France. Zidane took the penalty kick. Why doesn't the fouled player have to take the PK? The Heat don't get to let Wade shoot FT's for Shaq. Hockey players who are fouled have to take the penalty shot themselves. My change would make it like any other sport ... if you are fouled, you take the shot! How does this not make sense?


4. I don't mind penalty kicks being awarded for fouls in the box. However, I don't think all fouls in the box should be treated as equal. If there is a lot of congestion and the offensive player is fouled (marginally), should he get a PK? What about a player who is taken down from behind just outside of the box with no one in front of him? Shouldn't he get a PK? What I'm getting at is that calls like in the Italy v. Australia game and in the France v. Portugal game shouldn't decide the games. My remedy ... three levels of fouls in the box. For incidental contact that leads to the defense gaining an advantage, give a yellow card for a foul. For plays like in the Italy v. Australia and France v. Portugal that led to PK's, give red cards ... but the player who is removed from the game isn't suspended for the next game. He is just lost for that game. For unquestionable calls that obviously give the defense an advantage, give them a penalty kick. American sports similarity would be fouls in hockey, some lead to penalty shots while some just result in a player getting a couple minutes in the "sin bin."


5. Don't reward the whining, writhing, complaining, acting, flopping, etc. Give more yellow cards for trying to deceive officials and definitely do not reward the acting and caring on. Reward the players who play until there is a whistle, not the ones who roll around on the ground faking injuries until the official recognizes them. The officials need to lead the charge and FIFA needs to direct the officials to take this stance. How many legitimate injuries have there been in this year's World Cup? Not that many. How many times have players rolled around on the ground like their legs have been broken, only to be on their feet running a minute later? It's ridiculous. It's stupid. It's spilling over into the NBA. Have some integrity and pride. Don't cheat your way to victories, beat the other team straight up. If you can't, go home and practice and beat them next time!